Sela Locke

Well, you asked for someone to rip it apart, and here I am. -bows gracefully- At y'service, marm. Let's make this quick, shall we? =D The halls were white. I ...

(Let's get right down to it, shall we?) The beginning chapter grabbed me. I liked it, bar a few grammatical errors and such, and wanted to read more. After that, ...

I think all the other reviewers got everything, pretty much. And I agree with it, but as I was cruising down through all the critiquing, I kept searching for the ...

Not my favorite bit, for sure. The overview from last chapter is in italics: “You try my patience sorely, Mademoiselle Tadstreet. I have saved your life, and pulled you from ...

The room I met King Manfred in for the second time was simple, nearing dull. A long, low table, with countless chairs lining it on both sides, all carved after ...

“How very nice to – see you again, milord.” I heard him chuckle softly from somewhere deep in the gloom, and was glad, then, for the lack of light, else ...

Wow. So here's the thing, cheri . You have this way about your writing that makes people feel like they just finished being high when they get to the end ...

I don't nitpick so I guess I'll get right to it. You need a lot of practice. The basic skeleton of this was passable, almost, but the dialogue was flat, ...

You're right: I didn't make it clear enough that he struggles there, though he does. Good tip. Thanks Chern, and thanks BondGirl! Hope to see you both when chapter eleven ...

PG-13 again for suggestive themes. If you wanted Raymond to be a good guy, I beg you to consider skipping these next couple chapters entirely. ;_; Enjoy, otherwise. “Oh, ‘Annah, ...

Maybe. Stop saying incongruous. Will you play Mario Party with me and Max tomorrow? It's less fun with two people than three or four. You're depressing, and I think sincerity ...

Carmen was already perched casually on the porch steps when I left the house. I don't really like nitpicking, but this really screamed out to me. Maybe I'm just crazy, ...

Okay, before anything else, I just want to say that this was adorable. Straight-up, no strings attached, adorable . Onto the review! This is a short story, yes? Well, in ...

OH and by the way Stela, I don't want to be mean, but umm why CAN'T it be about best friend love?? Because quite frankly not every wants to read ...

I think those others've gotten the nitpicks. I'm here to talk about the chapter itself. It flowed well, mostly, although sometimes you put in words that don't quite fit; I'm ...